For SuM ReaS0N..i feel like i've beeN..

Scadalous/ Sunday, December 25

can't believe this..she's been a fool fer ya all along..though u didn't sae it..but u make her can't help but feel cheated and betrayed..all along..ur care fer her was a form of leading her on.ur sweetness fer her finally all turned out to be hurts..and her soul is crying..her will is diminishing..

her heart BLEEDS..

y did u even care so much abt her..or maybe she was juz thinkin too much..how would u feel if u were her..? maybe u knew all along..maybe u knew she wanted u to be the one..but she tot u didn't wan to..or maybe it juz wasn't ur type of stuffs..but suddenly..u stepped up to another girl and asked fer her hand outta the blues..and how do u explain tt? yeah..her heart sank at tt instant..but still she lied herself over..telling it's nth much..saying it's juz coincident tt u ask..so wad if u were both grabbing on to each other's hand..and how did u think she felt..it sux i'm telling ya..she was trying hard..trying hard to LIE to HERSELF!!! she didn't see a thing ok.she didn't..u came up to sing to her..and she didn't hear a thing..and u SANG a lovee song..u were singing to a hurtful soul mind u..u were..

she knew u weren't happie the whole nite..and she TRIED HER BEST...she realli did...to make the best of the dae fer u..u went missin fer long..and she was looking EVERYWHERE FER U...EVERYWHERE A FEW TIMES alright..den finally..she was tired of searching..den she settled at the last destination while looking fer u..she sat dere..swinging and thinking..fer awhile..everything stopped..wild thots kept whirling in her tiny vex head..and her heart was bleeding..juz thinking..where could u haf been..and wad could possibly be going on btw u 2..

aft abt 1/2 an hr of drownin in the deafening silence..she finally picked herself up..wiped off her tearz and left fer the crowd..juz den..she saw her cuming out...curious and by feel, she went in becuz of several reasons..at first she tot she was wrong abt wad she had in mind..but 5 minz ltr she realise she was rite..wad could they be doing dere fer SO LONG..fer as long as i was in IN SEARCH FER YA LIKE A FOOL..in a cold dark empty place..WADEVA...she continue to sit dere aft she saw him..and she 'accompanied' him fer quite sum time..and they spoke as usual..happily like nth had happened..and she felt more or less comforted i guess..den sumone came in to interrupt fer a while..and the conversation was broken...she promise to cum up again to accompany him ltr..and she did AS SOON AS SHE COULD..den they continued to chat..den interrupted HER with sum SERIOUS INTERRUPTION..but they soon left due to sumone's prompting..but the conversation was totally broken aft tt..cuz of the concern she gave..which made how she felt sour..and she knew..it's a red light

this stop morphed to a high energy..she clubbed and shook like mad..like no other will..like she was high on alcohol..drugs..wadeva..but NO..she wasn't on ANY..she was High..on jealousy..on sadness..on juz wanting to unleash herself..she juz wanted to free her bloody mind off him..and guess wad..she couldn't..but she did let go sum stuffs aft draining out..

den it's time to go off..she wanted to AS SOON AS SHE CAN..yet she didn't want to..becuz of the things she couldn't see and could have happened w/o her knowledge..but still..dere was no reason..they were in there TWICEEe..WADEVA.

juz as she was standing dere..she saw the 2 of them walkin towards the same place they were in..she tot she was juz sending him dere and she will leavee..and she stood dere to wait fer her return..BUT NO..she didn't return..TIL SHE LEFT...SHE WAS STILL BY HIS SIDEE..and yes..they spent the whole nite in dere..with 2 other..WADEVAA

my question is y did he choose to lead her on..treat her well..treat her nice..PROMISE HER THINGS he nv does..and y did she cum in btw them..i noe dere isn't rite or wrong in LoVee..but do u noe u had ruined her christmas this yr..u left her home to tear and cry..u left her soul weak..u left her heart thumping a beat slower..and u caused her head to be so heavy..it feels like the whole world is on her tiny lil shoulders..

honestly..she hated u as well as her..fer a moment she realli did..fer the things u've done and not done..fer ur sudden chg in attitude fer another one..

if u're wondering..it's fer a fren of mine..with a jackass guy which she SCOLDS ME FER SCOLDING HIM..personally..i kinda feel ARGHhh..by him..

all these realli makes me think..wad the hell is LOVE..wad is like..who's to draw the line btw love and a simple crush..? seriously..wad is helplessness..when u juz haf to see sumone go..and u haf to SEEEEEe it with ur 2 eyes..yet u juz can't do much..or rather..U CAN"T EVEN do ANYTHING AT ALL..u juz watch him go..ppl alwaes sae..if u like sumone GO..dun wait..but saying is easier..i wished she knew wad to do..i wished she could thrash things out with him..but wad she wans is not wanting to be with him..wad she wants is juz to noe..if she was ever on ur mind..if u once liked her..

actualli she kinda knew abt the 2 of u..she was observiN..and she suspected..but now it's out..U CHOSE HER..from the very MOMENT U CHOSE TO BE WITH HER..u gave u and herself up..u did..u chose it..do u think u will ever ever regret? i hope not dude..cuz once it's over..it's over..i noe she will nv walk back on this path again..besides..u're no the onli guy in this world..she will survive w/o u..wad the hell is heartache..she's got mee..and she will be juz fine with me..perhaps frenship will rule over relationship....aRghhh..

U PIERCED A BLUNT DART SLOWLY THRU HER HEART LEAVING A WOUND SO BIG AND PAIN FER HER..while u were all along the onli thing in her heart..so u pierced urself dead in her heart..

indulgence in the wee hrs 0f..
11:44:00 PM

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